Challenging Week Ahead? Discover Your Resilience.
We are predisposed to look for miracle solutions to our challenges. Actually, we often hold the answers within us but are too busy looking outside ourselves to spot them.
This is certainly the case when it comes to how we react and respond when life doesn’t entirely go to plan (which is frequently of course!).
When something undesirable happens what is your likely emotional reaction? Probably, and not unreasonably, negative. And then what emotions and thoughts follow and how do these equip you to respond effectively? Exploring our patterns is an important first step in building our resilience.
Undoubtedly there will be challenges in life which are unmistakably hard, maybe even traumatic but there are plenty more on a day to day basis where we can usefully choose our response more consciously and efficiently. Our reaction and the responses we choose are largely down to our perspective. This is the first stage in our Resilience model:
We are wired to want certainty (which is actually largely impossible to have) and to want our plans to turn out as we hoped so it’s inevitable that we will feel some difficult emotions should something happen which affects us in a way that we perceive to be negative. It is what we think and feel next and how able we are to get into a more resourceful state in a timely way, that makes a difference to our response.
So what is your default ‘cycle’ of emotions and thoughts? The unfiltered, honest version. Do you tend to feel badly, hard done by, disappointed, unlucky (again, unluckier than others again), hurt, disheartened, useless, exasperated, powerless, etc? How long do you tend to dwell in those negative feelings and thoughts? Do you get stuck with those feelings and thoughts for some time? Do you tend to then respond from that context?
If you do, it can be really illuminating to explore that with questions such as;
- What is my need that is being met by staying in this cycle and reacting in the way I usually do?
- How does that cycle tend to affect me and those around me?
- How is that serving me or others?
- When and how did I learn this pattern of reaction (thoughts and feelings)?
- Does that reaction enhance or detract from who I am/want to be?
- Might it be helpful to me or others to update this pattern? How?
- Am I ready to explore more helpful ways of thinking and feeling when things don’t go to plan?
Developing our self-insight paves the way for then exploring and expanding our choices and responding more resourcefully and productively.
So before you dive headlong into the challenges of your week, take that step back, ask yourselves these questions.
If you would like to learn more about growing and maintaining resilience, join our next Resilience Reset course on 14th May and 21st May (2 half days) online (14.00-17.00 GMT). The programme provides participants with our unique Resilience Tool and supplementary techniques to boost resilience. We have been running and evolving the programme since the beginning of Covid with a wide variety of clients, including the NHS. Read more about our previous NHS Resilience Reset.
Please contact Fiona@orchardhousepartners or lisa@orchardhousepartners for a brief call or for more information.